Trying to let go of a Fantasy

As I explained in my first post I started online dating and blogging as a means to move on from a failed relationship.  I met Guy 0 though online gaming about a year ago.  I had been single for a long time but about the time he contacted me privately I was starting to really feel like I was ready for a more “grown-up” relationship.

I really enjoyed getting to know Guy 0 and the relationship that began to develop.  I wanted to know if this relationship really could go somewhere and for that we needed to meet in person.  I had many other reason for visiting the UK and thus started planning my holiday.  Guy 0 was very enthusiastic about the trip even offering to pay for half the flight ticket.  So you can imagine my horror, dismay and confusion when 2 days before I was due to leave he informed me he had met someone else and pretty much went silent.  He had been strangely distant for a week or so.

Fortunately I have amazing friends and family and it was easy, if traumatic, to make alternative last minute plans.  With hindsight I guess it was naive to think that such a fantasy would work out in real life and perhaps this is one of the better ways things could have ended.  To cope I downloaded an online dating app and was soon entertaining my friends with crazy stories.  I may have encouraged some of it.  The entire holiday has been crazy.  There have been some really fun times, the trauma of a break up and and the craziness of figuring out online dating and blogging.  But through it all I have clung onto some hope that something would happen to lead me to get back together with Guy 0. Crazy and stupid when you think about how badly he treated me.

So it is not surprising that my holiday is ending with some more drama.  The last few days were always going to be the most difficult because they have brought me geographically closer to Guy 0 and marks the end of opportunities for to actually meet him.  I spent the last day feeling nauseous and struggling make the final plans to get my flight home.  Thus after a series of errors, bad planning and problems with public transport I missed my flight.  Once faced with this reality, I realised I really did want to get home and move on with my life, so maybe, just maybe, some good will come from this final holiday disaster.

Given the nature of this blog I want to keep things anonymous which means that I won’t use names and I will try to limit other identifying details.  

 

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