Well Import-export guy is out of town on business this week. So frustrating when we both want to meet again but it is not possible. He has mentioned the possibility of this weekend which should be interesting because usually he is really busy on weekends with his kids and other commitments. Last night he even messaged me for a quick chat after his meal with clients. Normally I don’t hear much from him in the evening because he is too busy being superdad.
So I will entertain you with a story of someone else I was chatting to before Import-exportguy came along. Writing this now I am surprised I let the conversation go as far as it did. The conversation had not gone on for long when he started asking about things we could do on our first date, I do of course mean of a sexual nature. A little bit more flirting and it became apparent that what he was proposing involved the back of a car because we could not go back to his place. I’m getting a bit old for that sort of thing. Then he reveals that he does not like condoms and has no intention of using them. Aside from all the other considerations is the lack of respect for me that suggests. Especially when he then asks if I mind if he gets me pregnant. Yes, yes I do. Oh but he really likes the idea of a little one running around and we could get a place together. Too much, too soon?
Well I head a really nice date a few nights ago with my current favourite guy, lets call him Import-Export Guy. We had dinner, we talked and we kissed. We are planning to meet again but he is away next week on business. I can’t wait to see him again.
It may surprise some who know me that this blogging journey started with a wish. The day after I arrived in the UK and 5 days after Guy 0 ended things I went with some family to a botanical gardens. Near the end of the day we came across a wishing well and while my cousins made their wishes I stopped to think what I would wish for. The first idea was of course to get Guy 0 back but then I stopped to consider if that was really what I wanted. Oh yes I missed him. Before Guy 0 I was single for a long time and being with him had given me new outlook on life. I enjoyed being someone’s girlfriend and having someone to care about that. I still wanted that but probably not with him. So my next thought was to wish for another boyfriend. But that did not feel right either. I did not know what sort of boyfriend and I guess I was not that ready to let go of Guy 0. So instead I wished for something positive to come out of this break-up.
It was amazing the difference such an idea made for me. I immediately started feeling more positive and thinking about what that ‘something positive’ should be. It was not long before I decided to try online dating and had download “Badoo”. Those first few conversations were crazy and messed up. I guess reflecting where I was at the time. That in turn inspired me to start this blog and now I am also enjoying reading about other peoples experiences.
Now it seems I have found someone new. It might not last but right now I’m enjoying being him and having fun. So I like to think that my wish really has come true.
2 sleeps until the much awaited date. I’m slightly bemused by the fact that he is counting the number of sleeps. I would even go so far as to say he is more excited than me. We are spending more and more time talking on the phone and WhatsApp. Even on the weekends when he is really busy he manages to make a bit of time to talk. He spent most of today trying to convince me that I should wear a coat with nothing underneath for our date. At one point I was starting to think that maybe I had made a horrible error in judgement and would have to cancel. But then he said something that reassured me and mostly it was fun and flirtatious. Then this evening when he phoned me he told me he was deliberately teasing me all day. Which made me smile.
But yet I still find that I am very anxious about this meeting. It almost seems too good to be true. Surely something has to go wrong. Has there been too much hype and build-up? Our getting together seems almost too easy. Is it too much to hope that someone good will come along this soon? When we talked tonight it seems like we agree on so many things.
Perhaps my feelings are clouded by recent attempts that did not go well. Guy 0 who let me down in a spectacular way, attempt 2 guy (see “Arranging that first meeting”) which was just a mess and then another guy who I have not mentioned. We had some good chats but when we met in person I found I was not that interested. I even made a second crazy journey to be sure. Perhaps the memories of extracting myself from awkward situations is too fresh and too recent.
So right now I am feeling excited about this first date. But at the same time I keep trying to remind myself that things might not work out. Perhaps that’s why I’m still chatting with other guys on Badoo, even though none of them compare. I think I just need to to for it and enjoy the anticipation and well if things don’t work out well that is life.
Finally arranged a date with my favourite guy. It makes me smile because it seems he had to contact his ex-wife to arrange for her to look after the kids. I’m trying to imagine how such a conversation goes.
In the meantime I will share more on the story of my second favourite guy. By second favourite I mean in terms of talking to him rather than because there are any romantic plans in the pipeline. This is a continuation of his story from my post on 30 May. His journey of sexual discovery would make a really interesting blog but I don’t think that will happen so I hope he does not mind me sharing a few snippets here.
The story started with his not so happy realisation that he could not stop looking at big dicks on muscle men in the gym. He then admitting to cumming to gay porn and while he initially made it seem like a question of timing it now turns out he was really turned on. It seems part of his fantasies are to be a submissive little guy giving big musclemen blow jobs. He also admitted that he gets turned on by girls teasing him. So me laughing at his story is a real turn on for him. It turns out that another part of his recently discovered fantasies is a dominant woman telling him what to do. Ideally this woman should have a muscle man boyfriend so that he can join them in the bedroom where he will do exactly as he is told. He has even got as far as admitting that he went into a cubical at the gym with a muscleman where he really enjoyed giving him a blow job, swallowed and moaned when the guy put a finger in his bum.
It is a really interesting story because he seems like a nice guy but he is really struggling to understand how he can be a proper man and still have gay, submissive fantasies.
Well I’m still waiting for that coffee with my favourite guy. Overall things seem to be going really well. We spent ages on the phone on Friday and he has got into the habit of calling me while he is driving home. Plus today was kinda fun because we traded loads of messages including some naughty ones while I was in a meeting. But yet I have no idea how he is getting on with organising a babysitter although he did has about times that would suit me. So I can’t help thinking that perhaps I am being played and he has no intention of meeting.
In the meantime I am talking to a few other guys but trying to keep it friendly. Sadly it seems they are either crazy or really boring. For example I just asked a guy what he does in his spare time and he said “Nothing much” followed by “and you”. Call me fussy but I want a guy that can hold an interesting conversation. Rather than picking up on the interests I listed this guy just asked me if I’m married. I have lost track of the number of people who have asked me if I’m married so I just checked and my profile does start with “I’m currently single…”.
So for now I will keep looking. Perhaps if things do not work out with my current favourite guy in a week or to I will look into an alternative dating app or website.
Strangely enough amongst all the crazies I have managed to find someone I like. He’s funny and I enjoy talking to him and he seems equally keen. There have been a few others guys that seemed promising but after one or two good chats they go quiet.
I’m really keen to meeting him in person. It will be the first guy I have met up with for a while and the first since I have returned to South Africa. But it is starting to feel like this meeting will never happen. There was brief talk of getting together tonight but he needs to arrange a babysitter for his kids. I’m sure a few of my friends will find it hilarious that the first guy I’m properly interested in, spends his evenings being Superdad because he has custody of his kids.
We have been chatting 3 weeks and so far he is the only person I have connected with on WhatsApp. This might seem like a long time but in reality we starting chatting a few days before I had my wisdom teeth out and so I was not really in a position to meet him for the first week and then after that he was out of town on business so clearly a meeting was not possible. So this week is actually the first week a meeting might have been possible but then there was a massive storm so again planning something was challenging. So I guess that while I am getting paranoid about this meeting ever taking place perhaps I am just being a bit impatient.
The question of handing over my WhatsApp details bothered me for a while. WhatsApp does have advantages in that it uses less data and doesn’t kill your battery so fast. Part of the reason I get constant requests but of course this means sharing my phone number.
It feels like all the guys want to use WhatsApp but I find it rather rude when someone says “Hello, can we talk on Whatsapp”. Sometimes I ask why, so I can understand if there is a good reason, or something less honourable. One guy sent me a rather nice message saying how he wanted to get to know me better and I hope he does not think it is rude to use Whatsapp. He seemed friendly so I asked why and after a very brief exchange he told me he did not have time for my questions because he chats a lot. I thought that was rather rude and decided it was for the best.
There was one guy who was particularly persistent about requesting WhatsApp and to date I have counted 10 requests. After I ignore his requests he makes some half-hearted attempt at conversation such as “do I prefer tall men or romantic men?”. This was followed by another request for WhatsApp. My question is, why would I want to continue chatting elsewhere if you haven’t shown me you can hold a conversation, especially when you insist on calling me “Swty”. He tried to tell me he was not like other men and that he respects my privacy but after 10 requests I’m not so sure.
After a while I realised that the reason for my reluctance to use WhatsApp is it feels like I am letting strangers into my personal space. With the app I can log off and forget about online dating. So it seems to me that anyone who cannot understand or respect my reluctance to share my number is probably someone who will never be able to treat me respect. So far there is one guy I have connected with on WhatsApp and I’m sure more will follow in time.