The Anticipation

2 sleeps until the much awaited date.  I’m slightly bemused by the fact that he is counting the number of sleeps.  I would even go so far as to say he is more excited than me.  We are spending more and more time talking on the phone and WhatsApp.  Even on the weekends when he is really busy he manages to make a bit of time to talk.  He spent most of today trying to convince me that I should wear a coat with nothing underneath for our date.  At one point I was starting to think that maybe I had made a horrible error in judgement and would have to cancel.  But then he said something that reassured me and mostly it was fun and flirtatious.  Then this evening when he phoned me he told me he was deliberately teasing me all day.  Which made me smile.

But yet I still find that I am very anxious about this meeting.  It almost seems too good to be true.  Surely something has to go wrong.  Has there been too much hype and build-up?  Our getting together seems almost too easy.  Is it too much to hope that someone good will come along this soon?  When we talked tonight it seems like we agree on so many things.

Perhaps my feelings are clouded by recent attempts that did not go well.  Guy 0 who let me down in a spectacular way, attempt 2 guy (see “Arranging that first meeting”) which was just a mess and then another guy who I have not mentioned.  We had some good chats but when we met in person I found I was not that interested.  I even made a second crazy journey to be sure.  Perhaps the memories of extracting myself from awkward situations is too fresh and too recent.

So right now I am feeling excited about this first date.  But at the same time I keep trying to remind myself that things might not work out.  Perhaps that’s why I’m still chatting with other guys on Badoo, even though none of them compare.  I think I just need to to for it and enjoy the anticipation and well if things don’t work out well that is life.

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