Finally we talked

After a sleepless night I sent him the following message: “I’m feeling really sad.  Last night when you said I should get a life, that really hurt. I know you are really busy but I need you to know this”.  Part of his response was: “No silly me cos I’m always busy with my kids”.

For a few minutes I did not know how to respond to that.  It was not one of the possibilities going through my head at 3 am.  A stupid typo!  He’s done that before and I guess if I had been in a better place at the time then I would have recognised the possibility and said something.  Eventually I went with: “I don’t know what to say now.  I took it to mean you were jokingly suggesting I needed to get a life and got really upset.”  Him: “I’m sorry u got upset I would never want to upset u.”

The conversation moved onto the fact that I probably responded badly because his messages had slowed and I was feeling insecure and stressed as a result.  He said he felt sad when he didn’t hear from me and that I should message him if don’t hear from him.  Which is fair.  (There was the question of why I’m always waiting on him for messages.)  Over the last few days we have had a few good chats.  Which reminds me, if I don’t hear from him this evening I must send a nice emoticon before bed.

I’m feeling more optimistic that I have done for a few weeks.  We faced our first real challenge, around communication, and I feel like we solved it in a positive and optimistic way.  In the grand scheme of things this is a relatively minor issue but if we can deal with this there is hope we will cope when bigger problems arise.

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