It depends on what could be considered the actual point of break-up. Would it be yesterday when I sent the “it’s over” message or perhaps this morning when he acknowledged the message and wished me well. Would it be more accurate to choose the point at which I said “Good Bye”?
On Saturday I had rather stressful morning trying to liberate Mom from the hospital. She tore the ligaments in her foot and they had to operate. (She is currently trying to deny she actually fell off the wine tram.) Having still not heard from him, I messaged Import-export guy looking for a bit of sympathy. He managed a few brief messages then went completely silent. Those following this blog will know that I have been concerned for a while about how things have been going. I decided I was done being patient and waiting for him to have more time. Sunday morning he finally read the last of my messages then went offline. At this point I decided I really wasn’t motivated to try and fix things. So I sent the following message:
“I really needed some sympathy and support yesterday. It seems I am just a bit of fun when you have nothing better to do. I deserve more. It’s over.”
He responded by telling me he was busy with his kids, that what I said was not true and he hoped I found what I was looking for. He was very nice but very clear in his position that I was asking for more than he could give. Work and his kids take a lot of his time. It seemed there was no point dragging things out. Plus I wanted a clear and positive end. So I told him I would miss him, wished him well and said good bye.
He responded by telling me that he also liked me a lot and would miss me too. It seemed like a ridiculous situation was developing where we did not want to end things but no plan to fix the situation either. I considered backing down but I initiated the break-up for a reason. It was not just a little tantrum about a few messages on Saturday, it was about the uncertainty I have been feeling for a while. I needed to be strong or we would end up right back in the same situation. I had to accept that if he was not willing to compromise then there was no chance of making this thing work.
Finally he asked if things could be saved. Then we talked. Well actually I did most of the talking. Trying to explain why I was unhappy and what I needed for this relationship to work. He is willing to try and that makes a huge difference. We have not yet made plans for a second date but now he knows why it is so important to me. How I feel it is necessary for this relationship to develop and grow.