Poor Fella, caught in the crossfire

This poor guy tried to start a conversation with me at completely the wrong time this morning.  It started well but then he started trying to be a bit flirty and naughty.  Actually it was the same sort of light-hearted banter that attracted me to Import-export guy in the first place.  I get bored of: Where are you from? What do you do? Are you single?  Do you have kids?.  So I said I suggested we chat later and he made the mistake of asking if I was in a bad mood.  So I explained I was going through some relationship crap which I had hoped to resolve today so that I could move on with my life.  I suggested I should go because otherwise I would end up having a rant.  But he was very sympathetic so I explained that I was worried that something bad might have happened to a guy I like.

He caught me just at the point where I was starting to stress because I had not heard from Import-export guy.  There is still a single tick next to my last message so he might not even have turned on the phone for nearly three weeks.  So I was going through a phase of what if something bad really has happened?

At some point the poor fella asked if I really thought something bad had happened.  So I said that no it is much more likely that he has taken the kids on holiday and not bothered to tell me.  The problem with today his that the kids are back at school.  So surely if this was the reason he would have checked his phone by now.  About this point I figured I had scared him off and went to get some hot chocolate.  Surprisingly he reappeared a bit later and we had a nice chat.

The biggest challenge with Import-export guy’s disappearing act is the not knowing.  I was starting to feel a little guilty that I had not done more to check if he is OK.  Honestly though, it would not make a huge difference.  It’s not like I would go and visit him in hospital unless he asked me to.  And well for anything worse it would just mean I do not think so harshly of him.  After all I made the decision that I could and should see other people before he disappeared.  I tried to do a search for him or any news on the internet.  In short there is nothing but it is an absence that proves nothing.  It is a sad reflection of our relationship that I don’t even know the name of his company.  Certainly there is no sign of any company doing the sort of work he told me about.  To find out more I would need to pick up the phone and do a whole lot more work.  I’m not sure there is much point.

In the absence of any information I need to make up my own story.  Using ghosting to explain his silence does not work for me.  I think in a conventional Ghosting situation he would continue to use his phone, Badoo and WhatsApp.  He might even have got as far as reading my message just not replied.  One possibility is that he is married.  His profile says divorced but he could have lied or remarried.  I have always been aware that this would explain a lot.  So I have decided that the reason for his silence is that his wife found out he was chasing other women and confiscated his phone.  The added bonus that the idea of a grown man having his phone confiscated makes me smile.  Just a pity that the other poor fella doesn’t want anything serious because I kinda like him.

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