What is he playing at?

Some of the information I look for on profile is education level and type of work.  While a good job and education is not absolutely essential, I figure a guy operating a till at the local supermarket is unlikely to hold my interest and attention.  Nonetheless a guy working as an artisan fixing machinery managed to slip through the net.  He recognized that I was more intelligent and that he need to make an effort to impress.  Actually I think he might be underselling himself because it sounds like he really is very skilled at making and repairing machinery and has in the past been involved in some interesting projects.

While I say he has been making an effort we have been chatting since November and so far no date.  We had a brief discussion about meeting for coffee in the week before Christmas and I suggested the Friday but looking back at the messages nothing was finalised.  He mentioned a sore back a few times over the week and on Friday he decided he needed painkillers.  Eventually he ended up at the hospital on Friday evening and he was given a cortisone injection for the pain.  In some respects the messages were rather amusing first with him complaining that they didn’t need to do tests just give him the injection.  Then the tone of the messages changed, clearly indicating he was under the influence of drugs.  I had a good laugh knowing he would be embarrassed when he sobered up.  So no coffee date.

The following Friday he suggested that we should meet for coffee and we made plans for the Saturday.  I was tired and suggested that we finalise the details the following day.  I should add, that by this point I was keen to meet this guy.  He has a weird and wacky sense of humor showing there is more a person than their education and job.  I was trying to decide if I was just flattered by the attention or if this thing had any long term potential.  I figured I should make an effort to meet this guy to get a better sense of where things might go.  There were no messages from him on Saturday morning.  Eventually about lunchtime I forwarded him a joke.  He responded to say he was out with some younger friends.  Being the sensible ‘adult’.  So no coffee date.

The following week he went a bit weird.  He became obsessed with wanting to come over to my house rather late in the evening.  I said no.  He even left me a message complaining about how little trust people had.  Erm we met online I think it I’m allowed to be cautious.  Still no coffee date.

He then went completely silent.  I considered messaging him but given his rather disturbing requests to visit I decided not.  Then I saw a post on Facebook saying he was having trouble with his phone and would be offline for a while.  A few weeks later I heard from him again.   It seems he had cracked the screen.  He went back to being funny and charming.  After a few days coffee was again mentioned but no attempt to fix a date.  Knowing he is in the very early stages of working for himself I tentatively suggested that money might be tight.  Under such circumstances I don’t mind paying for both coffees.  He made it clear that was not a concern.  Still no coffee date.

Now I seriously am wondering what this guy is after.  Actually I have not heard from him since the last mention of coffee.  He has some conservative values and is hoping to find someone for the rest of his life.  He says very nice things about how he likes me.  But he seems to flake at actually making plans to meet.  Could he be scared to ask?  Or is he another one just messing me around?


6 thoughts on “What is he playing at?

  1. I agree with Lauren. A lot of people never want to meet – they just want to flirt, have some one to talk to or someone to string along. Sometimes they quite like the idea of it but just never seem to get around to making it happen. I spent 18 months having quite intense chats, sexting and even phone calls with one guy – then deleting him in irritation from my phone/apps out of irritation at these games – and then letting him come back randomly, and finally after all that time he texted me one afternoon that he was in my neighbourhood and asked to meet up. I made the effort to meet him after work (though I was tired and not in the mood) and it was OK. I liked him and it was clear that he liked me, but he was much more shy in person and we had barely any common ground. We had a really nice kiss goodbye and that night he texted me heart-eyes and some sexy talk again. After that, pretty much nothing. I think, in reality, that he can’t be bothered making the effort because we live a fair way from each other and he has a really busy life. However, I have decided that it is pointless to continue contact with people if you are never going to meet or to establish any kind of relationship. Far better to save your time and energy for someone who is genuinely interested in meeting within 2-3 weeks max.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I have found that since Import-export guy I am not getting emotionally invested in anyone too soon. So I don’t get too stressed about meeting if guys are not taking too much time and energy.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. […] Another round of silence coincided with me meeting someone new (but that is a story for a later post).  I was glad of the silence because it meant I could focus on the new guy.  After nearly two weeks he texted me and we spoke on the phone.  It turns out his latest phone was broken and he was waiting for payday to buy another.  I had warned him the phone was faulty when I gave it to him. […]


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