Last night I responded to a post titled ‘Moderating my psycho’. I was trying to suggest the author might benefit from focusing on being happy single and this got me thinking about how well this advice applied to me right now. So many things I could say about my recent experiences that I was struggling to keep it short and relevant. At the same time an idea was starting to take shape in my head. Seeing all the Valentine’s displays in the shops is depressing this year, particularly as I’m feeling the need to take a break from online dating. I like the irony of making February Anti-Valentines month and hiding my dating profiles.
Instead I could use the time to focus on me. I have mentioned before that I am feeling the need for more changes in my life, so February could be the month I focus on that. I took some books out of the library before Christmas but I never found time to read them and eventually took them back unread. I used to read a lot and I am starting to feel the need for a good book.
Regardless, it looks like the next few months are going to be busy. There are a lot of birthdays in February. I decided to sign up for another year of volunteer mentoring. I have also found a nice pilates class and I am really getting into it. Interestingly a friend from school is also in the class and we had a nice chat a few weeks back. Next time I get a chance, I will suggest that we go for a drink and a proper catch up.
Ironically some of these changes are driven by my experiences with Guy 0, Import-export guy and online dating generally. Thinking about a future with one of these guys let me to accept that I was not happy with my life. In doing so I started to think about what I needed to do, to change things. With this mindset I did something really crazy and scary for me. I signed up for a ballroom dance competition. I know I am going to hate some of the attention but better than missing this opportunity, then secretly regretting it. So far everyone has been very supportive about the idea.
One thing I have enjoyed about online dating is getting to know new people and learning what they are doing with their lives. The Canadian lawyer, I met said something that resonates with me. So many people our age settle for jobs they dislike and are simply waiting for retirement. That idea scares me a lot more than taking a few risks. I can’t sit around waiting for retirement or a man to ‘rescue’ me from a boring life. If there is something I want from life then I should go for it.
So I like the irony of turning Valentines Day on it’s head and using February to focus on my life instead. Now what would be a good way to mark Anti-Valentines Day?