Well the last few days have been very busy. I started writing a post on Sunday and I still have not managed to find time to finish it. Yesterday I set out on a short Karoo Roadtrip with a friend from work. One of the outcomes of my efforts to be more sociable is that I am doing more with one of my friends from work including this short roadtrip.
Before writing this post I did some reading to understand a bit more about ‘The Versatile Blogger Award’ and to get some ideas for my post. In doing so I visited the site of the award administrator. It is interesting to note that the administrator has not really been active for over a year and yet the award continues. I think this is a nice reflection of the support within the blogging community.
When I first started blogging I noticed, with envy, a few people receiving this award and I hoped in time that someone would nominate my blog. So I would like to thank A Dating Dad for nominating me. I enjoy reading about a guy’s perspective on dating.
The rules of the award are fairly simple:
- Share 7 interesting facts about yourself
- Nominate 15 bloggers for the award
Well it seemed simple until I started trying to think if interesting facts that would not give away my identity. This is my list of facts which you may find interesting:
- I have a PhD in a technical discipline that is traditionally male dominated. Surprising then that I can’t seem to meet any potential boyfriend candidates.
- As the introduction to my blog states I live in South Africa. However I lived in the UK for 10 years which provided a few good travel opportunities.
- I once went on a rock climbing holiday in Calpe, Spain.
- I have abseiled off Table Mountain.
- I used to be able to tell people that we have 2 1/2 cats because our neighbor’s cat spent so much time at our house.
- I love roller-coasters
- I have family scattered across 4 continents
The next challenge is picking 15 bloggers to nominate. My time is limited so I only follow a small number of blogs. Primarily dating blogs. Rather than picking blogs I rarely read I have settled on the following 8 bloggers who I enjoy reading:
- Back in Stilettos Again
- Single Girl Swiping
- Life and Dreams of an Unchained Heart
- Unleashing the Cougar
- Blessed with a Star on the Forehead
- Sensuality, Sex and Something else
- ann st vincent
I thought it would be fun to share some of the hilarious Tinder profiles that I have come across.
I think this is one of the best Tinder descriptions I have seen because at least it shows the guy is confident and has a good sense of humor. After all who can complain when a guy compares himself to a dog? Food for thought: would a dog make a better companion?
The first picture is followed by a few nice pictures of the guy who it turns out is black. Ironic when you consider my previous comments about how most South African black guys take themselves too seriously. Of course there is very little about his background and culture in the profile. I like how he has overcome the challenge black men face with a profile that grabs your attention and showcases his personality before revealing his skin colour. Needless to say this was swipe right.
While the rest of the Tinder bios are witty I don’t think it will be a surprise that I chose to swipe left. A key point to consider is context. I like the joke in the next one and if I saw it on Facebook or WhatsApp then I probably would share it. That does not make it a good Tinder bio. Are you trying to say that you want children or just sex? Will this just appeal to women who are desperate for kids?
I understand this profile picture even less. Is he badly in need of the toilet? Maybe he is just sexually frustrated. Not surprising if he thinks this is a good online dating profile picture.
I like this picture. It is a very funny drainpipe design. I can’t understand why some friends didn’t include something similar when renovating their house. Lol.
I have to say this is one of my favorite Tinder profiles for men. It is a simple, effective yet witty way of making it clear what he is looking for. Interesting that my favorite profile pictures both have a dog related theme.
A weekend that corresponds with a very sad time in my life came with a few surprising highs this year. The past weekend marks the 6th anniversary of my father’s death. So it was a rather freaky co-incidence that a family friend died recently and the funeral service was on the day my Dad died.
My Dad met the guy at work and he had two boys who are a similar age to me and my sister. We used to have regular braai’s (BBQs for non-South Africans) at either their house or ours in a very South African style. This pretty much involves the men standing round a fire and drinking beer for hours, finally managing to serve up some meat when the guests were due to leave. As a child I hardly noticed because the weather was good and we had lots of friends to play with.
The family friend was a very interesting character and could be very volatile, he would say what he thought, good or bad. I remember playing cards and we were able to make this guy keep missing his turn and he was getting increasingly irate. Of course the angrier he go the more we made sure he did not get a turn. My Dad was one of the few people who did not fall out with this family friend. I can’t say it was because he was chilled because my Dad could be load and vocal at times. I think the difference is they were from a similar part of the UK and perhaps the two men understood each other better.
On Friday Mom and I went with some other friends to the funeral service. I was surprised at how pleased the boys were to see us. I think they were a little unsure how many people would show up. They both live overseas and they were not sure who was still talking to their Dad. Nonetheless there was a good turnout. Afterwards we went back to their house for some food and a few drinks. Slowly people started leaving until only handful were left then we pulled some chairs into a circle and started to reminisce.
Sunday was our annual visit to Groot Constantia. Dad died at about 6 am on a Friday morning so after saying our goodbyes, we were home by about 8am. Not knowing what to do with the long day that stretched ahead of us. I think it was my sister who got the idea that we should go to Groot Constantia and to this day my Mom and sister are convinced that somehow it was my Dad that suggested it. The calm we felt there was just what we needed. We had a good laugh because we kept dashing to the toilet due to the stress. This year we had two people to remember. With hindsight it would have been fitting if we had invited the friend’s two sons. Still they had their own things to do.
Then on Monday evening I joined the two sons for a trip up Table Mountain. We had some drinks and watched the sunset. We caught the last cable car down and went for some food. We all had a really nice evening. I think it is a sign of true friendship that we haven’t spoken for over 20 years but still got on really well. I hope we are able to stay in touch.
This post started out as a story about how I had to cancel a date because I forgot and made other plans. I was going to write about the reasons why. I matched with the guy on Tinder in the middle of January and we had a brief chat. He seemed reasonably sensible and interesting. He told me he was property investor and traveled a lot.
He told me his friend had suggested Tinder but he could understand my reluctance to share my number. We chatted briefly an he asked to keep him posted about my availability for coffee near me. I was not quite ready to arrange a coffee date and suggested that he keep in touch.
A month later he messaged to ask if I was still alive. Then picked up the plans for a coffee date. I’m not quite sure why I proposed the following Wednesday rather than insisting we chat a bit more. I think I had read some dating advice suggesting that only a few messages should be traded before meeting for coffee. Maybe it was the fact that I want a proper boyfriend and not another text buddy.
Anyway I decided to give him a chance. But making plans with this guy proved to be hard work. Specifically getting him to provide relevant details. He asked to meet near his work, gave me the name of a very long road and promised directions closer to the time. I felt the need to make it clear I was not willing to meet at his office and he responded by saying there were lots of coffee shops. Not very helpful. At this point I was irritated with having to keep asking questions so I simply replied with ‘cool’.
On Monday evening, without thinking, I made other plans for Wednesday. It was only a few hours later I realized what I had done but decided the other plans took priority. On Tuesday morning sent him a message explaining and hoped he did not think I was too flaky. In spite of the fact that I had not heard from him since Saturday. By Tuesday lunchtime I still had not heard from him and started working on the first version of this post describing the sort of things that would have made me excited about the date. In doing so I reread our messages and started to question if the guy’s intentions.
He finally messaged and asked when our ‘new appointment’ would be. I thought that was rather strange wording and told him I was not happy meeting. He gave me his full name to google which actually did not help matters. All I could find were two rather strange Facebook profiles with virtually no activity on the timeline. I’m sure a property investor would have more of an online presence. At this point he provided the name of a restaurant but I’m not convinced it was the logical choice for a local businessman. Yet according to Tinder his distance from me fitted with where he said he was. Which meant I was feeling somewhat conflicted could he be honest just bad at messaging or were his intentions far more sinister.
While I was driving I realised that at some point during the day I had forgotten the purpose of a coffee date and thus dropped my criteria. It certainly isn’t: He probably won’t rape and murder me. The point of a coffee date is that because things are going well, you want to meet the guy in person and there is the possibility of something longer term. Let’s be honest if a guy can’t have good enough conversation to answer my questions and convince me his intentions are honorable there is no chance of building a relationship.
So no new appointment. Lol.