Trying to break-up nicely

I finally accepted that things with Artisan guy could not go any further I’m not sure that break-up is really the right word because things never really progressed as far as a relationship but I can’t think of a better description.

Another round of silence coincided with me meeting someone new (but that is a story for a later post).  I was glad of the silence because it meant I could focus on the new guy.  After nearly two weeks he texted me and we spoke on the phone.  It turns out his latest phone was broken and he was waiting for payday to buy another.  I had warned him the phone was faulty when I gave it to him.

We made plans to meet for drinks.  Something that had been half arranged a few weeks earlier.  It was late and I was tired so I agreed even though my head was spinning.  Even with the new relationship, little more than a week old I knew that it would be unfair to let Artisan guy think that things could progress any further.  The main challenge was figuring out: What is the nicest way to break-up with a guy?  In the end I send a text cancelling the drinks and explaining that I did not have strong feelings for him so it wouldn’t be right.

It took him till lunchtime the following day to respond.  He thought I was joking at first and I had to explain that much as I thought he was a great guy I did not have the sort of feelings required for a relationship.  I felt really bad because I do think he is one of the good guys.

He is looking for his forever girl but I couldn’t see that working for me.  We are very different people.  I have a PhD while he left school early to attend a technical college.  His version of travel is places in the Western Cape, while I have visited numerous countries.  He is happy with what he is achieved in life (and there is nothing wrong with that) while I am restless, looking for the next big adventure.  So my greatest fear is that unintentionally he would hold me back or in the end we would find that we could not make things work.  In the end we agreed to stay friends.

The new guy was a bit quieter in the few days after I broke up with Artisan guy and I briefly wondered if I was too hasty.  Having said that the ease with which I made the decision to break-up suggests that it is something I should have done ages ago.

For now we are friends.  I enjoy chatting to him.  My worry is that I think he still has hope that he can win me over.  Perhaps I am being selfish.  It might be kinder for me to end things completely so he can go back to looking for his forever girl.


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